Sepaking of which...

In reference to my last post, check this out. Don't worry, it's not the primary source right-wing crazies, it's a report about them, so I'm not Rickrolling you into a Fox news feed or whatever. An exerpt:

TOM RIDGE: I take a look at this individual who’s been charged criminally. Does that mean he’s going to get his Miranda warnings? Does that mean the only kind of information we want to get from him is if he volunteers it? He’s not a citizen of this country. He is a terrorist, and I don’t think he deserves the full range of criminal—protections of our criminal justice system as embodied in the Constitution of the United States.


PAT BUCHANAN: What I’m saying is the first and highest priority when you apprehend him is not to make sure he gets his constitutional rights—he’s not even a citizen—but to get all of the information you can about where he came from, who trained him, where they are, are there other attacks coming, where are they coming. And if that means, frankly, you have to deny him pain medicine, because the child’s badly burned, I think you go ahead and do that. I’m not arguing for torture, but I am arguing—


SPENCER ACKERMAN: You just did!


PAT BUCHANAN: Nobody is. But I’m arguing for a hostile interrogation of this fellow, because our job is to protect American lives. It’s not to make sure his Miranda rights haven’t been violated.

People who fetishize the constitution happily violating it when someone has something flammable down their pants = cowards.
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Sounds about right to me

Ted Rall proposes a name for this decade. An exerpt:

Once we Americas did brave things: We sat on boats, crossing the English Channel, knowing that most of us would die on the beach in Normandy. We sat at the lunch counter in the Deep South, waiting for white goons to beat us up. We also did brave things that were stupid: When the president sent us to Vietnam, some of us went, risking death. Others went to Canada, sacrificing everything for principle. We bungee jumped. We tried New Coke. Bravery can be dumb.

But it's still brave.

Then came 9/11/01. It was the defining event of the decade that ends today, a fin-de-siècle moment for a previously proud nation's once glorious history.

When you compare our reaction to terrorist attacks to that of, say, England's, we come off as a bunch of cowards.
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Goodish bad news

So I received a rejection from F&SF today for my story (quick turnaround!) which is unfortunate. The editor, however, took the time to write me a personal note rather than the formal letter they usually send out to all rejections. It says that he liked the beginning quite a bit, but felt that it became predictable later.

That's pretty encouraging, and it certainly seems as if he would not be averse to receiving more stories from me, so as I said in the title, that's goodish bad news. I'll re-read the story I suppose, then send it out again in a couple of days.
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In which something small makes me irrationally pleased.

So, more writing updates. I submitted the story to F&SF as I had planned, but I'll need to wait until Valentine's Day-ish to find out.

I also received my submission back from New England Review and they rejected it, which isn't too surprising, but why not submit to the publications that would be coolest to get published in, even if the chance is small? Not eveyone may believe this, but I can say quite honestly that writing stories and submitting them makes me feel good, and when they eventually get accepted (one hopes) that feels even better, but the first good feeling isn't predicated on the second one. I immediately re-submitted the story, this time to Solander, a (the) journal of historical fiction. As they only accept one to two stories every six months, and they ask for longer stories than mine, the chance is again small, but we shall see.

Anyway, the small thing that made me irrationally pleased is not the check I received from Asimov's, though that is quite timely as we approach the holidays, but what I received a few days later - a Christmas card that Dell Publishing sends to all its writers. Sure it's a corporate Christmas card, mass-signed and sent out to hundreds of people, much like the one I received from the ESL school where I teach. But see, I know I'm an ESL teacher and I think of myself as one (see the post below this) so it wasn't very special. (Also their corporate present this year was a pen. So.) But a Christmas card sent out to all of Dell's writers had me skipping back up the street to my house.
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Ian's Class Students

I taught a couple weeks on advertising and consumerism last session, and of course took a slightly different interpretation of the consumerism lesson goals than the book's. When it came time to talk about advertising, though, I didn't just want to talk about how evil it was (I did talk about that of course, at length, but I didn't just want to talk about that). I also wanted to talk about how effective it is. Very smart people have spent trillions of dollars making advertisements work on our psychology, so it would be wrong to just say it's junk. It's far more pernicious than junk.

Anyway, my point is not how I use my classes to indoctrinate my students into left-wing politics (Me, L, and E seriously are the Right's worst nightmares about university professors come to life). No, my point is to show you some of the advertisements they made when I gave them the presentation assignment of pretending to be advertisers and give a pitch. After they pitched their ad concept, I had them explain why it's supposed to work - sex appeal, bandwagon pressure, etc. It went really well, and all the students did a fantastic job and loved it.

First, I showed them the perfect paragon of pitching, and told them they got extra credit if anyone ran out of the room crying.

On the day they presented lots of different media for an overall ad campaign - posters, radio spots, product placement on TV, whatever they wanted. But I'd like to show you three of the commercials they made entirely on their own. Here's the first one:



Very well done I thought. My Rwandan student said that the tagline "has a double meaning," and proceeded to scandalize the class, which was great. The cool thing is that they continued that couple's relationship into the next group's video, although sadly we see the specter of domestic violence perpetrated against the man by his wife:



But far and away the best one, in my opinion, was made using secretly shot footage of me teaching. (He asked if he could use the footage after he'd shot it, and when I agreed he had me walk while he filmed it, so that part isn't candid.):



The main guy featured there came to America because he wants to be an actor, and studied drama in college (so, you know, Eiga, if you need someone...). It's really interesting to see that the movements he learned in school read as really really Asian silent film actions, not Western ones. Mifune Toshiro more than Buster Keaton.
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Evony Sucks

Now, I knew that Evony advertising suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked. Seriously, go check it out. I'll wait. It's well worth the click-through.


...

...

Back? Man, that is seriously offensive. But apparently all this craptaculance must be only self-obvious, because if anyone points out their general offensive bullshit, or dares to offer an opinion that the game isn't worth playing in free mode, and the "freemium" pay mode isn't much better but is a lot more expensive, they'll sue you. In Australia. Even though you don't live there, and Evony is not an Australian company. I'd quite like an excuse to get out of work and visit Australia, it is Summer there after all, so I reiterate:

Evony sucks. Do not play it. Do not give them money.

Hopefully I'll be extradited and I won't even have to pay for airfare.
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A Parable, in honor of Copenhagen's long history of fairytales

We span the whole length of this Ivory Tower. It is said to be as big as a city. We pass over the base of the tower, then it’s mid section, and finally we near the very top of the structure. It is very intricate here. We begin to zoom in on the Magnolia pavilion. The very tip of the Ivory Tower, the place that the Empress lives.

INT. VIEW- Ivory Tower- The Empresses court

The door to the Empress's room opens into the courtyard. Lots of creatures from Fantasia await help from the Empress. The Empress's head servant comes out of her room and speaks to them all.

Carion:

Friends, I know why you are all here. The Nothing is destroying our world. I also know that you have come to beseech the Empress for help. But I, I have terrible news. The Empress herself has become deathly ill. There seems to be a mysterious link between her illness and the nothing. She is dying. So she cannot save us...

(There is much commotion among the creatures gathered there, but he continues.)

But there just might be one chance. The plains people who hunt the purple buffalo have among them a great warrior and he alone has a chance to fight the nothing and save us. He is our only hope. His name is Atreyu.

Tiny(Interrupting as he rears back on his racing snail):

Who is going to pay for this? Traveling to the plains is prohibitively expensive, and hiring so great a warrior would require billions a year as a retainer! Perhaps we should set a more attainable goal, such as promising (nonbindingly) to hire this Atreyu within the next fifty years.

Nighthob(yelling from her bat):

We cannot wait fifty years! Already the Nothing has destroyed much of the lands where I come from. We of the South of Fantasia think that those from the North and West, who did the most to create the Nothing should pay for Atreyu immediately, or at least within the next ten to twenty years. It is their debt for creating the Nothing!

Tiny:

Whoa there. We absolutely recognize our historic role in putting the Nothing in the atmosphere up there that is—you know, that is there now. But the sense of guilt or culpability or reparations, I just—I categorically reject that.”

Rockbiter:

We must speak to the Childlike Empress now! Sick or not, we must have an audience with her! She is our Hope!

(General murmuring of agreement from the assembled representatives)

Carion:

Look, I've already told you that the Childlike Empress is very busy dealing with her health care. Not to mention the fact that she's receiving an award for peace. She has to prepare her speech justifying war to give at the ceremony. She may perhaps be able to put in a brief appearance after. Now let's all decide to table this until such time as we can address it more fully, and go back about our business.

INT. ATTIC

Bastian:

I can't believe this! They're letting their world die? For what, parliamentary procedures?

(The courtyard is being taken away by the Nothing. Because of Bastians newfound disbelief the Nothing has grown stronger and is now attacking the last remaining part of Fantasia. The Ivory Tower shakes and cracks some more. Many of the creatures gathered fall over backward and are knocked unconscious. The Ivory Tower cracks. Darkness, pure and black as night. We hear Bastian speak.)

Bastian:

Why is it so dark?

Empress Moonchild:

In the beginning, it is always dark. Also at the end, like now.

(A small light appears and starts growing until the two childs faces are illuminated. It is coming from an object in Moonchild's hand. Bastian looks at it.)

Empress Moonchild:

One grain of sand. It is all that remains of my vast empire.

Bastian:

Then everything has been in vain.

Empress Moonchild:

Basically. It's not like you can just wish the world back once it has been destroyed. But ultimately saving this one grain of sand is all we could reasonably expect to get through a 60-vote supermajority congress. After all, the wolf Lieberman, servant of the Nothing, threatened to filibuster any other non-one-grain-of-sand-related deal.

FADE OUT.
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The closer you get the farther away you are

So I just found out that my final recommender has sent all of my letters out. Yay! He sent the one to Rutgers via mail, so will it arrive before the deadline, which by the way is tomorrow? Good question! Does he not realize that the deadline is when things have to be in, rather than when they have to be postmarked by, like some sort of contest from a cereal box? That's also a good question! I'll keep you updated as I know more.
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writing updates

It's been a while since I've spoken about writing, since I'm quite focused on schools currently, but there's no reason why you can't add more things to the pile once you've crossed the "too many things to reasonably deal with" threshold.

I received the story I sent to Cricket back, and it was sadly not accepted. Resubmitting it places will be a bit difficult, since there aren't a lot of venues for children's stories. Once I get a Writer's Market account (more on that in a minute), I intend to look for children's book publishers and send it out to them. I'll have to re-read it before I do, since I cut a lot to get it under the 2,000 word limit of Cricket.

I haven't heard at all from the New England Review, and since it was sent in a weird way due to fuckups at the post office, it's quite possible they never received it. I'll go to their website soon and see what their timing is, and possibly mail a request if they've received it. Either that or just send it out again.

I received and approved the galleys for Asimov's, which is great, and the check is on the way. I asked the editor when it would appear in print, and he said he wasn't sure yet, but that I should email him again in January and he'd know. So yay!

In other yay news, I've started a writer's workshop with some friends of mine. They're all pretty talented writers, but they all, like me, have problems with procrastination, so the hope was that by having deadlines and feedback we'd keep each other productive.

So far this plan has worked well, as I sent out something and received comments that made it better, I think. I edited with the comments in mind, though I didn't take them all on board, and am now about to submit my latest short story, "In Too Deep", to F&SF. they have an 8-week waiting period, so I'll keep you updated as I hear more.

Another thing I'm doing with this writer's workshop is getting a Writer's Market opnline account. This way we can have access to places to send our pieces once we've worked on them. Everyone's agreed to go in on it, so if they actually do it won't be too expensive.

That's it for now. Just because I'm freaking out about school, and working myself to death, doesn't mean I can't also heap more responsibilities on myself, right? Am I right?
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Too late, my friend, too late.

A Seattle Times editorial begs us, "Please, do not let Forks suck!" (via)No comment.

Except, that I can't not comment on the other quote here, "Forks is what is left of true America." It really irks me that we're supposed to think that a rural, uneducated (*cough*white*cough*) town is "real" America, not like urban, open (*cough*dark people*cough*) cities, with their values of letting people do their own thing and tolerance. I mean muggers. You know, dangerous muggers with their mugging rap music.
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Wow, Just...wow.

***UPDATE*** This excellent take down of the editorial points out that Diamond is on the board of the WWF, which took three million dollars from Chevron last year.

I hesitate to call anything published in modern times as the worst editorial the NYT has ever run, ever, since they used to trumpet how great Hitler and Mussolini were for business and argued for invading Iraq and Afghanistan, but this is pretty damn bad. So let's just say it's arguably the most ridiculous NYT editorial ever. Jared Diamond argues that big companies, like Coke, Wal-Mart, and Chevron, will save the environment. Yay! Nothing for us to do, folks! Our overlords here our complaints and will take care of it, so back to sleep! Fill 'er up at Chevron, drive that Hummer to Wal-mart, and by a two liter!

Editorial here
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When I left you, I was but the learner...

So I'm finally receiving mail to my new address, which is a relief. Yesterday, in fact, I (finally) got my diploma! I am officially The Master, though you don't have to call me that if you don't want to. Hopefully I'll receive my PhD someday, at which point I'll be The Doctor, which is the opposite of my version of the origin story of The Master from Dr. Who, but in that they (he?) are time lords, that doesn't really matter.

I'm quite proud of myself, I have to say - I set a goal and worked toward it without sabotaging myself at all. Definitely my most successful academic foray to date.

Yay!
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Moooo...bs

There's a good article over at pandagon, taking apart some B.S. post about how Thanksgiving isn't "for" vegetarians.* The only addendum I'd like to put to that is a look at this weird urban legend they mention, that soy products give you man boobs. The idea is that it can mimic estrogen, so it can increase female sexual characteristics, such as breasts. This can be easily proven by the huge racks we see on men in Asia. Um....

OK, so the science seems to be scant to nonexistent that any, you know, human amount of intake of soy products will have a noticeable effect on people, but it still persists as an oft-mentioned warning. Far, far more than the well demonstrated and documented effects of plastics, some of which most certainly do mimic estrogen and in far greater amounts, and growth hormones in cow's milk (here's a fun fact: women who drink non-organic, regular ol' cow's milk are twice as likely to have twins than women who drink organic cow's milk). So why does this get far more currency than those other, much more solidly supported dangers? There are two reasons, and looking at them is a fairly interesting window into culture, memes, and racist assholes.

One of the reasons that it continues, the less interesting one, is that this danger is a problem for only a small group of people, and almost never the person repeating it. One might think that we would pay the most attention to dangers inherent in activities we ourselves do, since that would make us safer, but the reality is far different. If you hear that a thing you do, X, is unhealthy or dangerous, yet you strongly want to continue doing it, you feel cognitive dissonance. This leads to not remembering/not thinking about the warning. If on the other hand you hear that a thing you don't do, Y, is unhealthy or bad in some way, you feel good about yourself and remember it quite well; especially when you see someone else doing that thing which you are too virtuous to do.

The other, more interesting reason this urban legend continues, and urban legends in general can continue, is that it is compatible with already-held unexamined beliefs. (Feel Free To Skip)When a meme reinforces a pre-existing complex of other memes, it both strengthens that complex and can attach itself to it. This is especially true when the complex is itself not critically examined, either because one of the memes in it is not to examine (faith/taboo) or because it is so fully integrated into someone's overall doxastic system that altering it would be too much epistemological work. (/Feel Free To Skip)That's another way of saying that when something sounds plausible based on other things you know, you'll believe it, especially if it makes you feel good about yourself.

In this particular case, there are two long-held, unexamined bigotries at work here. The first is that Asian men are effeminate, unlike us burly strong white guys (though we lose out to the animalistic dark-skinned guys.) The other is that eating meat is connected to masculinity>. These both strongly support and are supported by the idea that eating tofu and drinking soy milk puts lady hormones in your manly body. When ideas as deep-seated as these are the ones giving support, it's an easy guess that the resultant belief will itself not be very well-examined. Hence the persistence of this idea despite little to no evidence of any kind.

If all this implicit subtext is hard for you to believe, well, actually my first suggestion is take some feminist theory classes, but my second suggestion is to read this article, where the subtext is turned into straight-up, good-old-fashioned explicit text: Soy is making kids "gay"**






















*As we all know, it's "for" celebrating the massacre of Native Americans. I don't mean that symbolically. It actually was declared a holiday in Massachusetts to celebrate a massacre of Native American women and children.

**I love how he puts "gay" in quotes. Is this so we know he doesn't mean happy? Or that he reeeeeeally wants to say fag, but feels that this would detract from the sober scientific tone of his piece?
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Disappointing, not surprising

So I don't have a lot of time to post anything, as I only have internet for those precious moments in-between classes I'm teaching, so let me just say this about Obama's incredibly disappointing but predictable increase in troops: anyone who wants to say that being in Afghanistan is non-terrible, make sure you can give believable, reasonable, not post-hoc answers to these questions. (via)

Honestly. The war in Vietnam had more justification than this.
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